Some sequels are inevitable; one just hopes that the sequel isn’t completely horrible.

Disclaimer #1:

I needed something to distract me from the news I had just received about the passing of my grandmother the evening that Transformers came out at midnight.

Disclaimer #2:

I enjoyed the first movie, but had issues.  It was one of the first reviews I wrote (Transformers).  I suggest reading it in conjunction with this review.

Now that the disclaimers are finished, let the review begin.

This installment is about a year after the events of the previous movie.  Sam is headed to college, the Autobots are helping the military, and Megatron is still in captivity.  Sam finds a sliver of the all-spark and all heck breaks loose.  What follows is a 2 and 1/2 hour explosion fest that would make the combined explosions of all military actions over the past 100 years seem like a wet sparkler on the 4th of July.  Just when you think Bay couldn’t stoop any lower, he actually “teabags” the viewing audience with a Decepticon (thanks, Spaldy, for the right imagery).

A lot of the issues I had with the first movie are still here, just bigger and even worse:

• StarScream – at least his whiny voice was heard this time and the robots could talk while transformed – so this was actually an improvement…
• Plot – story? we don’t need no stinkin’ story – WE HAVE EXPLOSIONS – KAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
• Robots – in the cartoon you could tell who was an Autobot and who was a Decpticon – good luck here…
• Visuals – great effects but everything is lost in the neverending fireballs of Bay’s testosterone exploding onscreen…

My advice:  dollar theater if you have to see it on the big screen – don’t waste money on it though…

Some movies have a lot of star power, but very little publicity.  This means one of two things: 1) it’s an indie flick; or more likely 2) it is a dud. That is the choice we are left with in viewing this offering from John Travolta and Denzel Washington.  Santino talked me into going seeing this one afternoon.  The theater was barely half-filled and it was opening weekend with no competition.

The movie is your basic, formulaic hostage movie.  The actors did what they could with a bad script and a predictable storyline.  I knew how it was going to end by just watching the trailer.  It is a shame that the story in the middle wasn’t strong enough to kill the predictable angle.  Even the big “twist” wasn’t all that important to the story.

My advice:  Skip it – catch it for free on TNT if you absolutely have to see it…