Some sequels are inevitable; one just hopes that the sequel isn’t completely horrible.

Disclaimer #1:

I needed something to distract me from the news I had just received about the passing of my grandmother the evening that Transformers came out at midnight.

Disclaimer #2:

I enjoyed the first movie, but had issues.  It was one of the first reviews I wrote (Transformers).  I suggest reading it in conjunction with this review.

Now that the disclaimers are finished, let the review begin.

This installment is about a year after the events of the previous movie.  Sam is headed to college, the Autobots are helping the military, and Megatron is still in captivity.  Sam finds a sliver of the all-spark and all heck breaks loose.  What follows is a 2 and 1/2 hour explosion fest that would make the combined explosions of all military actions over the past 100 years seem like a wet sparkler on the 4th of July.  Just when you think Bay couldn’t stoop any lower, he actually “teabags” the viewing audience with a Decepticon (thanks, Spaldy, for the right imagery).

A lot of the issues I had with the first movie are still here, just bigger and even worse:

• StarScream – at least his whiny voice was heard this time and the robots could talk while transformed – so this was actually an improvement…
• Plot – story? we don’t need no stinkin’ story – WE HAVE EXPLOSIONS – KAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
• Robots – in the cartoon you could tell who was an Autobot and who was a Decpticon – good luck here…
• Visuals – great effects but everything is lost in the neverending fireballs of Bay’s testosterone exploding onscreen…

My advice:  dollar theater if you have to see it on the big screen – don’t waste money on it though…